Playing the Blame Game? Here's another idea...

So, I don't know about you guys, but I'm a classic blamer.

You know how it goes. Your life is going along just fine. Work is great. Your family feels close. School is going so well. Good grades, good times with friends, and your home life is nice and relaxed. You're being productive and getting stuff done. Every part of your life seems to just sync up effortlessly. The good vibes are just reflecting off every surface of your existence.

Then, BLAMO!

Suddenly, things start to slide downhill faster than you can say, "What the heck?? WHY???"

At least, that's normally my first question when I finally realize that I'm back at the bottom of the hill.

But, I think the worst part is how long it takes me to realize that I'm back at the bottom of the hill.....and usually by then, the hill looks a lot more like a mountain.

At that point, what is there to do? I mean, everything was fine. Why the sudden change? What could have possibly caused my life to start sucking so much? And how could I have been so oblivious until now?

Well, it obviously can't be because of something I've done, or stopped doing. It is in no way my fault. Why would I ruin my own life? That makes zero sense, right? Right.

I mean, there are tons of other reasons why my life took a nosedive. So, let's explore my other options: #1 - blame my circumstances

#2 - blame the people around me

#3 - blame God

Oooo! I'm down with #2! I think that's my favorite. Yeah, let's do that.

And, I do it all the time. Sure, I occasionally mix it up with #1 and #3 every once in a while. But, #2 is my personal favorite.

With #2, I have so many options! Family, friends...the angsty teenage cashier at the grocery store who took too long to ring me up and made me late...the moody salesperson who wouldn't let me return that impulse-buy sweater without the receipt and therefore basically forced me to waste $42....plus all the other random people I encounter throughout my day. Oh yeah. It's great.

BUT....each option definitely has its pros.....

#1 is pretty easy to do. I mean, there are so many things out of my control that "just happen" to me. Other people's moods affect mine. Traffic discriminates not. Natural disasters happen everywhere. Rain pours whenever it likes to. Jobs are hard to find these days. Money is tight no matter your budget. Everything is too expensive. Politics are a mess. The internet is crazy. Technology is only great when it works.

#3 isn't as easy for me to do, personally. At least, not directly. I don't necessarily blame God outright for DOING stuff to me. Clearly, I'm smart enough to know that God doesn't just do crazy stuff to us for fun. That's not how God operates.

So usually, I blame Him for NOT doing something. I question Him for taking too long. Wonder why He didn't intervene. Accuse Him of not caring about me because He didn't make things go my way.

Is any of this sounding familiar? Come on. Which one is YOUR favorite?

When it comes right down to it, we all love to play the blame game. We do. It's easier than taking responsibility for our own lives. But, stuff happens, right? I mean, people's cranky attitudes DO make us grumpy, and traffic really doesn't care if you're running late, and sometimes the weatherman said it would be sunny.....and you forgot your umbrella. It isn't always our fault when life's craziness happens to us. A lot of things that are outside of our control affect our lives in negative ways, and we start to wonder why it's happening to us. Why our life suddenly seems to not be going so well. Why we aren't as happy as we used to be.

But instead of looking inside ourselves first we tend to look for any and all excuses to avoid doing so. If we looked to ourselves for why things aren't the way we want them...we may find something lacking. Which means we might have to change how we do things...and change is hard. Too hard. "I don't wanna!" Sound familiar yet?

But change doesn't have to always be a thing to fear. So often, little changes in how we think and speak can make a huge difference in how we see our lives...even when they seem to be crashing down into a pile of rubble at our feet. A positive change in ourselves has to begin with total honesty. That can start with asking certain questions like, "Have I been truly thankful for what I have been blessed with?" "Do I react well to others, even when they're having a bad day?" "How often have I talked with God this week?" "Am I content?" "Why do I live the way I do?" "What is really the most important to me?" "Are my priorities in a good order?"

Are you back at the bottom of the hill? Was that light at the end of the tunnel just the train, and now you feel like Wile E. Coyote - flattened, disoriented, and not really knowing why your perfect plan didn't work out?

When you're looking up from where you're laying right now, desperately searching the sky for someone else to blame, try simply renaming your situation. Instead of seeing "problems to suffer through" call them "challenges to overcome." Instead of calling yourself a "victim of circumstance," rename yourself a "warrior who is stronger because of their scars."

This takes some practice (I'm definitely still practicing myself). It's way easier to say than to do...but there are a few simple steps to help you get started: #1 - Examine your circumstance (yes, it's ok to acknowledge that the difficult thing you're going through is, in fact, really and truly awful...just don't camp out at your own pity party)

#2 - Examine your attitude (be honest with how you're feeling, why you're feeling that way, and what you can do to change those things)

#3 - Examine God's Word (you'd be surprised how much people like Abraham and David could relate to that feeling you get when you peel yourself off the pavement)

And remember, there's always some good to be found. If you look for it, you'll find it. If you ask, God will show it to you in His time. Between now and then, just try changing your focus. I mean, yes. Wile E. Coyote never catches the Road Runner...but he's a brilliant plan mastermind. And yes, he does get hit by a train in almost every episode....but, if you think about it, that only happens because he's such a ridiculously good tunnel artist.

It's all about perspective.

Speak about it differently. Think about it differently.

Don't play the blame game. Play the re-name game.